To Juice or Not to Juice? That is the First World Question

ince returning from Mardi Gras last weekend, I’ve been toying with the idea of a juice cleanse. My body had suffered abuse both on the inside and out thanks to Hurricanes and bead throwers (no boobage shown, just reckless tossing from above), and I wanted to do something to help with the healing process. Recently, my Instagram has been filled with friends showing off their first bottle of juicy cleansing. It looked easy enough, and I really like juice (so much), so I started looking into it.

The three that look most promising in Dallas are The Gem, Roots Juices, and Vim + Vigor  (Le Jus has one too but it’s not as intense). Going by name alone, I’d chose Vim + Vigor; it just sounds cool! But this is no small commitment, so I kept on researching.

The good thing about juice cleanses now is that they are striving for a product that not only works, but that tastes good as well. Great strides have been made from the warm water and cayenne pepper days before my high school prom. Vim + Vigor strives for a multidimensional taste, while The Gem focuses on presentation with fun juice titles like Ruby Slipper and Clarity Lemonade.

Whatcha drinkin’ there?

Oh, you know, just a little Clarity Lemonade. It’s good for the soul and the bod.

The downside: all cleanses are pricey. A 3-day cleanse from The Gem is $165, the Beginner Cleanse (3 Days) from Vim + Vigor is $100, and Roots Juices kit is $50 a day but they recommend 5 days for optimal results. All of them encourage you to remove meat from your diet and hydrate on the days leading up to and directly following your cleanse. None promise weight loss, although Roots Juices says that this could possibly be a result.

The bottom line: you’re going to feel better no matter what, but you might not look any different.

I’m okay with that, I just want to emerge from the sluggish haze that sugary drinks and an excess of hot dogs have left me in. But which collection of kale and cucumber do I choose?

Based on website alone: I’m going with The Gem. Roots Juices looks great, but a 5-day cleanse is a little intimidating. The Gem promises optimal results in just 3 days. I think I can handle that. Vim + Vigor would be great for someone who doesn’t want to give up solid foods on their cleanse. They provide a dinner guide for their 3- and 5-day cleanses.

But if I’m going to do it, I want to commit to an all-liquid diet. Plus The Gem gives you tons of helpful advice and information for before or after your cleanse. Who wouldn’t want to try Clarity Lemonade? We’ll see how it goes!

{photos via respective websites}